IconElegies

My world began to change into something that I no longer felt was my own. Life began to be a slow descent into darkness. I decided to end it while the joy was still somehow present, and I still felt the most important things. No. They weren't the comedian's tears but something else. I couldn't catch them. A poet's note. The actor Robin Williams committed suicide.

I became famous by hurting myself. My last stunt was my last, and I didn't pull it off. And it wasn't shown on TV. The Porsche stunt was a drunken thing, which I could no longer forgive. The car, the guy, and I were left on that road. Life was fun while it lasted. I didn't think  I was going to die in a nursing home, but it can hurt in heaven too. Poet's Note. Ryan Dunn was a member of the Jackass group and died in a car accident.

I experienced hell in my life. Many times. The last time I burned alive in a car. I wanted to give my life to someone who needed it. I didn't need a life anymore, which was so hard for me. I wanted love. That's what I wanted. To be loved. To have my father and mother love me. That's why I wanted to be a star. I lost them all. Just call me crazy. I'm free now. Actress Anne Heche died after crashing her car into a house.

Hollywood kills nightingales and spits them out. That's what happened to me. Dreams didn't come true, tragedy was enough. One drunken night, I had enough  of your Hollywoodland, and I immortalized myself in history  by jumping off of you. I might have thought that I would be remembered for this. And so it was. I failed in life, but not at everything. And in a cruel irony, I would have gotten  the role of a woman committing suicide. I did it. Poet's note, Peg Entwistle committed suicide in 1932 by jumping off the iconic Hollywood sign.  

 It was supposed to be the last time. The last time I used. The last time I had to forget. The last time I had to be forgotten. It was the last time. So many times I had looked death eye to eye. Now it took me. Almost by accident. I knew it would, but I was almost surprised. I was Matthew Perry. I made others laugh, even as I cried.  Poets note. Everybody remembers Matthew from Friends.