IconElegies

A girl drowned in the Seine. She was lifted from the river with a happy smile on her face. Only sixteen years old, it was estimated. She survived. She was a death mask that adorned the apartments of dark artists. The most famous anonymous in the world, even after all these years. Why did she smile when she died? No one told us, because no one longed for happiness. Was death a joy for her? She remained the most famous unknown. Is that why she smiled? Was she unhappily in love? Had life never had time to begin, did she not let happiness come? She knew it.

I drowned. I drowned for love. Into the icy sea, where icy people cried for help, after their dreams sank. Rose. I loved you. I loved you more than anyone else. For a brief moment I was happy. The moment we were given. Fly Rose. For me too. Poets note. Jack Dawson was a character in Titanic-movie. 

 It was supposed to be the last time. The last time I used. The last time I had to forget. The last time I had to be forgotten. It was the last time. So many times I had looked death eye to eye. Now it took me. Almost by accident. I knew it would, but I was almost surprised. I was Matthew Perry. I made others laugh, even as I cried.  Poets note. Everybody remembers Matthew from Friends.

When our car hit the pillar of the Paris tunnel, I knew the world would talk about this for a long time. I had always been photographed, chased, and photographed again. They were after me again, the paparazzi, but for the last time. When I died, I belonged to history, not the paparazzi. I was Princess Diana, divorced, mother of a future king. I died, when my life began.