Andreas Lubitz's Last Morning

My name is Andreas Lubitz.
I woke up this morning, which I have decided will be my last.
If I have enough courage, it must be enough.
I was born into a life
that should have been going well.
I was not feeling well. I did not feel alive.
I am a co-pilot. I want to fly.
I cannot become a captain 
if I tell you everything that I feel.
What will I have left if I tell you.
The cheap wings of Germany fly.
We fly cheap. People are cheap.
I am only interested in flying. I do not feel anything.
We take off from Barcelona, ​​once again.
They are coming from their cheap trip.
I wonder if they have not been robbed.
Barcelona is a city of crime.
This has been done many times. Flight.
My flight is almost over. This is a short flight.
They call me inexperienced.
Just go to the bathroom.
I will be remembered for this act. Do I want it?
I don't want it. I want it. I don't know.
I have to decide, right now.
I will. I will be remembered.
I've always wanted to fly.
I'm going crazy.
I just want to fly.
I put on my uniform this morning. I had to.
Is this the day I've decided to die?
I don't know yet.
Do I want to kill people just because I want to fly.
I want to fly. I want to fly.
I don't want to live. What am I going to do? I want to live. No.
Can I kill people for that? I can.
The plane takes off. I make a decision.
I have to die. I don't want to go on.
I didn't want them to know I can't fly.
Do I want to kill. I don't know.
The captain left. I said maybe we'll land.
He's banging on the door. People are screaming outside.
It has to happen. I have to die.
I don't want to live. Neither do they. They think, but they don't know about me.
They know, they are afraid and they scream. That's what I thought.
The minutes have passed, the mountain is ahead.
I knew that.
It's not a fairy tale.
I wanted to control love. I wanted to control.
I wanted to control. It's all over. The decision has been made.
It's over.
I don't know what happens after this.
I'm dead, everyone is dead. I know that.
I know that they will write about me.
I won't forget. If I forget. That too will take time.

Poets note. Andreas Lubitz was a suicidal pilot who took down a plane. 

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